Best Laid Plans
by TR-Fanfic
Summary: What if Harm saw Mac's reaction to his joining the CIA at the end of Shifting Sands?  Would he be able to keep the discussion tabled knowing how much it hurt her?


This is my response to the June HBX fanfic Challenge. I literally woke up with this idea in my head. I hope you like it. It's unedited as I'm really in a rush right now. Sorry about that.

In this story I'm making believe that Mac turned back around and went into Webb's hospital room while Harm and Catherine Gale were there at the end of "Shifting Sands". She's already overheard their conversation, but has determined not to let it get to her.

Best Laid Plans

By TR

Rated Mild

Mac took a deep breath, put on a brave face, and walked into the room. Harm stood as she came in, offering his seat. She waved him off. "Thanks, but I'm not going to stay long. I just thought I'd come to see how Clay is doing. I didn't expect to see you two here."

Webb smiled. "We were just welcoming Rabb into the family."

She swallowed down the dread that immediately rose to her throat, and turned to Harm. "Is that what you really want to do?"

He shrugged. "I didn't have a whole lot of options." He paused, trying with all his might to look equally content and determined. "I've made my choice."

"Are you sure about that Harm? You've got a lot of different skills. You can have anything you want."

His eyes moved up and locked with hers. "No I can't."

The air grew thick between them, and Mac felt the blood rushing in her ears. He had that look in his eyes again. That look that literally took her breath away. Only this time it was coupled with pain, regret, and longing. She grabbed for the foot of the bed, in an effort to keep herself upright.

Webb frowned, as he watched the silent conversation. "Sarah are you okay?"

It took her a moment to respond. "Uh...yeah, I...uh just didn't have enough to eat today."

Harm wanted to stand to offer his chair again, but he couldn't seem to get his legs to work.

Catherine Gale smiled in amusement. Wondering if either of them were ever going to step back long enough to recognize the love between them. She stood, and put a hand on Mac's arm. "Why don't you sit down."

Mac shook her head. "No, thank you. I was just stopping by for a minute anyway. I better get going." She paused, collecting herself. "Clay, I'm glad you're feeling better. Catherine, " she said looking to the other woman in acknowledgement. She turned to Harm, the friendly goodbye faltering on her lips. She choked his name out in a whisper, and as quickly as she could manage, she left the room.

Catherine sat back, watching Harm as he stared after Mac. "I think you made the right choice. If you keep chasing your past, your future's going to walk right out the door."

His eyes flew to hers, and she folded her arms, challenging him to act. "You know," he said. "You're absolutely right."

Five minutes later he was walking down the hall of the hospital, wondering what his next move should be. He patted the inside pocket of his jacket. Feeling what he'd once hoped would be his future, nestled inside, close to his heart. He still wasn't sure what he should do, but 20 minutes later he found himself in front of Mac's apartment. Before he could question the wisdom of walking in without a plan, his hand was already raised and knocking on the door.

She opened the door almost immediately, as if she'd been expecting him.

He stepped into her apartment, and had no idea what to say.

"Would you like something to drink?" She asked automatically.

"No thanks, I want to know why you left so soon."

"It was more than just a little awkward standing there with everyone. I had to get out of there and think."

"Is this about me joining the agency?"

"No. I don't like that, but it doesn't surprise me. I just had to..." she paused, staring at the carpet. "You looked at me that way."

"What way?"

"The way that makes me forget how to breathe."

"Is that a bad thing?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I don't know anymore. I could never tell with you. Not until today."

"What makes today any different?"

"You said you wanted me. Or at least it sounded like that's what you were saying."

"But you already knew I wanted you."

She threw her hands up in exasperation. "Would you quit telling me what I know? Why would I have to ask if I already know?"

"How could you not know?"

"Because you never do anything about it. Everytime I think you want me, you pull back. Even if I did know. Even if I dared to hope, what good would it do if all you're going to do about it is table the discussion?"

"We were in the middle of a mission!"

"Yeah, that's exactly what you were thinking when you leaned over to kiss me on that bed."

He dropped his head, and put up a hand. "You're right. I don't want to fight about it." Meeting her gaze once more, he said, "it doesn't matter anymore anyway. What matters is that right now, you know I want you."

She gave a sigh of resignation. "Yes I know you want me."

"You don't look happy about that."

"Am I allowed to be happy about it?"

He frowned, "what?"

Her lip quivered. "What good does it do for me to know that if..."

"If I won't do anything about it?" He moved in, taking her by the shoulders. He didn't kiss her as she expected. Just opened his jacket and said, "reach into my pocket."

She did as he asked, and found a small velvet pouch.

"Open it," He whispered, stroking his thumb along the line of her jaw.

Her hands trembled as she reached in to the pouch and pulled out a ring. For the second time that day, she forgot how to breathe.

"You're right Mac, it doesn't do any good to know that I want you, if I don't do anything about it." He took the ring from her hand. "This is what I planned to do about it."

Questions braded themselves together in her mind. She didn't know what to say. Where to begin. "And you just carry it around with you?"

"Everywhere I go. Since the day I boarded the plane to Paraguay."

Her jaw dropped as his words penetrated the fog of hope and heat and adrenaline that swirled around her. "You bought this before...?" Her eye flew to his. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I planned to."

"When?"

"Right after we made love in that hotel room."

A lovely pink blush rose in her cheeks. "So it wasn't going to stop with just a kiss?" She asked in amusement.

"Only if you had stopped it." He paused, taking her in. "Listen Mac, I don't know how it all went to hell. I don't even care anymore. I just know that being without you just feels wrong. I felt something in Webb's hospital room today, when you walked out that door. Something that I hope I never feel again."

"What was it?"

"Empty...Mac..." He stopped, unable to put his feelings into words.

She stroked his cheek. "I know. This isn't how it's really meant to be." He turned his face, kissing her palm. She took the ring from him. "You had a plan for this?"

He nodded.

"It's a shame you didn't get the chance to carry it out," she said, giving him an encouraging smile.

His heart kicked up another notch. "What do you suggest?"

"What do we always do with an aborted mission?"

"We come up with another plan and try again."

She smiled. "Exactly."

Time slowed as he took the ring, preparing to carry out his plan. She had other ideas, tugging him back up as he tried to drop to his knee. "No," she said. Before the blood could drain completely from his face, she pulled him close. "Not like this. The way it was meant to be. The way you planned before."

He broke out into a smile that was so like the one he'd given her on that bed in Paraguay, that it brought tears to her eyes. He took her hand and slowly led her into her bedroom. Silently they stripped down to their underclothes. When he reached for her, she broke away, and laid down on her side of the bed. Propping her head up on her elbow, just as she'd done before. He smiled again, realizing what she was doing, and moved into position.

Leaning just a little closer she said, "You're just full of surprises."

His eyes sparkled with amusement and desire. "Right back at ya Mackenzie," He murmurred, and met her halfway in a kiss full of healing and promises.

The End.


End file.
